Let's Just Say I'm "Fashionably Late"

I must admit keeping up is very hard, that is when you’re living the life of a grown up. But to be successful in life, you must never give up! Remember that kids, the key to success is not throwing away your dreams, instead stand firm you can be like me… Or what I will be in a matter of years. Now I understand there has been a void of posts, and I offer my sincerest apologies. After a recent family get together, I realized I have to keep up. If not for me… For others. MUST DISPLAY FASHION SENSE OF HUMOR. Plus I’ve got friends in low places…. Where the whiskey drowns and... any Garth Brooks fans? Yes Missouri has turned this country hate-ah, into a country love-ah! But back to point, a friend of mine told me she enjoys reading my blogs because I make her laugh… mostly at me and not with me. But as long as my stupidity brings humor to this world, I will continue to deliver it! Now that I am no longer working with my ever-genius first mate, Andrea, I am forced to either take pics on my own. Prepare for some serious junior high selfies in the upcoming posts. I’ll try to continue the non-stop innovative poses, but trying to work an iPhone camera to show entire outfits is a craft all itself. So here my friends, my most recent attempts at "dressing to impress."

And so begins the self pictures. See no face, no expression… This is painful because

I want you to view what is a horribly awkward moment for me, yet moment of pure pleasure for you. You are probably wondering, does she always keep her sleeping quarters this tidy? No. This is a good day, hence the pile of schnasty clothes on the floor. But at least the bed is made… I think.

Top: Primacy (Vintage from Maude V.), Jeans: FOREVER21, Belt: The Limited, Shoes: Nine West, Cuff: Vintage (unknown)

Ahh, the always reliable “Flamingo” pose. Get it? Flamingos crank one limb up sometimes… Or is it an Ostrich… I can never remember. Regardless this is muh Mother’s Day outfit. Hip, fresh, springy. Oh yeah that’s my dog in the background. He chills.

Dress: H & M, Jacket: FOREVER21, Belt: Target, Shoes: Charlotte Russe, Cuff: Vintage (unknown)

Now that’s a dress! On this particular Mother’s Day I journeyed across the wild plains of Illinois to the historic town of New Salem. That’s where Abraham Lincoln lived for six years kids. As many of you Illinoisans know, the summers here in the Mid-West can get pretty unbearable. Many people wear practically nothing. Some people prefer to go in the buff (when in Rome!) But if forced to wear something like that in this heat, I’d die. Jeesh, I’d be sweating more than I already do… and honestly, that’s A LOT.

Alright. Its time to peace. Until next time... Which I promise is not in the distant future. Stay hydrated my friends.

Preparation, Perspiration, Peppernation

FINALS… “F*CK I NEVER ACTUALLY LEARNED this SHIT.” True dat. See for me, I’ve got three “P’s.” Preparation, Perspiration, Peppernation. As we all know, preparation for finals leads to perspiration (or at least for me, and not just a little sweat… This chick gets frazzled and a lot of “schvitzing” goes on) but I think of Pepperland and that No Where Man and I have an eternal ॐ, that’d be “om,” for you non-yoga folk. Listen, I’ve stressed, you’ve stressed, we all scream for ice cream… then we go get some. But just think you anxiety-filled individuals… ITS ONLY A WEEK! I mean after all, we all live in a yellow submarine, and we all get by with a little help from our friends. So picture yourself in a boat on a river, and look for the girl with the sun in her eyes. Then its over, easy breezy sailing there on after. And its summer, Ice Deli (shaved ice that is DE-licious!), boating, and gettin’ yo tan on! The idea of classes will be far behind… unless your taking summer classes, but then you can think, “at least I won’t have to take that arduous and inane class for an entire semester.” So no matter what, you’ve got the long end of the stick. So close those eyes (after you’re finished reading this of course), deep breath… repeat after me “OOOOMMM…” open your eyes.

Namaste.

A Little Bird Told Me....

Today I was told I am adventurous. Ok, maybe it was only for having Szechuan sauce on my wok instead of teriyaki, but When in Rome! My friends will kill me for writing that…. But the night is young and I feel like “When in Rome” fits perfectly… “Well when in Rome…Yes?... Uhm do as the Romans do?” NAME THAT FILM! (I’ll give a hint, ANCHORMAN!) Total fave! But perhaps I'm adventurous for wearing shorts and ballet flats on a shitty weather day. Ding ding ding, found the winner! You see I have this problem of dressing weather inappropriate. Last week it was dressing in all black and in warm clothes on a 80-some degree day. Today it was dressing way to cool, and quite frankly, these albino colored legs just couldn’t handle the heat… or lack there of. Top: Old Navy, Shorts: Gap, Shoes: Old Navy, Necklace: Vintage (unknown) 

Since I am in American History, I find it only fitting to have a remake pic of George Washington Crossing the Delaware. Almost identical. Almost Famous… Love  Billy Crudup!

 When in motion, it has been brought to my attention that it almost looks like I’m not wearing shoes. Instead just little black toelits. Shoes: Old Navy

I got the Rolly on my arm. Alright, ignoring this clearly flawless smile please note the accessories. The gorgeous dahling! Bird Charm Necklace: Vintage (unknown), Watch: Anne Taylor, Chain bracelet: Vintage (unknown), Leather cuff: CC Skye

Blooper. But the face is priceless.

Let's Talk About Shoes, Baby

They house our feet and in the winter help keep us from catching pneumonia. Apparently when your feet are warm, the entire rest of your body almost maintains heat. How scientifically interesting, right? But as much as that statement may or may not be true, these kicks are nothing of the sort. I like the think of them more as just art. You collect paintings? I collect shoes. When in high school, wearing heals was stupid. I mean that’s what I thought. And now, I wear these pieces of art all over campus. And boy, do they kill. Yes I’ve complained about them before. You may ask why do you do this to yourself? Because I’m stupid? NO. I do it for the love of fashion. I love it. I do. Carrie (yes I’m using another SATC reference) married her Manolo’s in A Woman’s Right to Shoes, and hell, I would do that if I found the right pair of shoes. Yes, right pair of shoes… not right man…. Sorry fellas! So here is a compilation of my recently featured pairs.

BCBG Snake skin healed sandals. I would definitely say these are my favorite pair. Surprisingly enough, I can wear these shoes for a long period of time and have no pain! And aren’t they beautiful? The answer is YES!

Franco Sarto healed sandals.  I had originally planned on wearing these in the city on my Chicago trip. I decided to go a different route, 1. because if I had worn these I would have frost bite on my toes, and 2. if I had worn these I would no longer have feet. These are great kicks for short periods of time. But if you can brave le pain, keep on walkin’ (in them)!

Converse low tops. I can’t even tell you how long I’ve had these shoes. They’re reliable and add a certain edge to any outfit. But I will admit that from time to time, they can cause a little bit ‘o pain. But if you were being chased down the street, at least you could get a little farther than some of these other choices.

Report ankle bootie. These, along with my friend’s mother’s jacket, were my lifesaver in the Windy City. Not insulated, and no arch… Oh shit, there I go sounding like an old woman… BUT THAT IS SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT! They are warm and they are relatively comfortable. Plus I look like a total hipster in them. I was wearing these before it was cool…

Liz Claiborne patent leather ballet flats. The bubblegum Barbie flats remind me of some gummy shoes that caused a rather large scar on my left knee. Tragic story, lets not dwell… Thanks to the clearance section of my fabulous place of employment I came across these beauts and fell in love. 

FOREVER21 boots. Last but not least my boots. Whether I’m heading to work, or go to the County Fair these boots take me there! The great thing about them is they were cheap and they have lasted. Dress up, dress down! Lets wear them all around!

We're Going Streaking!

Get it? Streaks, another name for stripes? I’m wearing stripes on my shirt… ok. But not only stripes, also an Old School reference, all in one title. I’m the master. Back to the topic. Stripes! Candy stripers! Strippers…. NO! Stripers. Think the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie goes to see Big after his heart surgery. Don’t remember? Refuse to watch? To old to relate? Think of the 1940s. On track? Awesome. Now I am no “candy striper,” but just an every day gal, strutting around in uncomfortable shoes and silly outfits. I know they are, but their my silly outfits and thats who I am. Gotta problem? “You betta check yo self, befo you wreck yoself.” Back to topic, this happens all too often… I am no candy striper, just an every day gal, strutting around in uncomfortable shoes and silly outfits. Back on topic PERFECT. These “Tootsie Rapers,” as I like to call them, that I have been wearing are starting to do some serious damage. Lets just say a pedicure would not be enough. TOTAL RECONSTRUCTION TIME. I thought, "hey how about a nice ice soak", until I had a stinging pain through my entire leg. Nope opposite than what I wanted. Then I tried a hot water soak, still made no difference. Any recommendation for my poor little feet? They’re killin’ me! Top: FOREVER21, Skirt: FOREVER21, Shoes: Franco Sarto

 This is a rare occasion, an actual pose where I look normal. MUST DOCUMENT. It must be because it’s the morning…

 In case you haven’t noticed, my balcony is where its at. PICS ON PICS ON PICS. Yolo… That sounds awkward when I say it out loud… It must be that I’m just not “hip” enough to say that. HA.

 See what le wind does? Pretty effects. Also I must note I had a piece of sour candy in my mouth so lets try to resist the urge of setting this as the background pic on your phones gents.

 Those Italian sons o’ bitches…. These shoes kill. But they make me feel like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing. Oh Patrick Swayze, take this baby out from the corner!

 Clearly practicing my Pechanga. My shadow is doing the splits, what a slut.

Whats a girl to do without some bling? Alright there clearly is no bling here. Instead just some laid back, hip stuff man…. Bracelet: Vintage (unknown), Ring Finger: Vintage (unknown), Birdy Finger: A gift from a friend, all the way from Egypt!

Puppy Love

A gal’s best friend, that one being that will love you no matter what happens. Always loyal, but sometimes stubborn. Spoiled to the extreme, but a great cuddler. NO, I am not talking about any of my exes. I’m talking about those four legged hairy-monsters. DOGS! There has never been a point in my life when I didn’t have a little pup to snuggle up to. So when I learned that my apartment next year allowed dogs, I went nuts-oh! I dialed up the pops and put in a request for my faithful friend Sam. Naturally, a yes was returned and I said, “WOOOHOOO” and then there was barking (from the dogs on the other line, not me…)

But seeing as recently there has been a rise in people getting pups around me I needed to get my fill. I forced my friends from their homework to accompany me to the local dog shelter, The Central Missouri Humane Society, and came across this little girl, rightly called Peanut, as that is what she is. See if I didn’t have an over abundance of these little creatures, I would have adopted her on the spot. But that shouldn’t stop any of you. Seriously, when talking to the people at the Central Missouri Humane Society they said almost every week and a half a new bunch of animals come in. But the great thing about places like CMHS is if you can’t adopt any of their animals you can volunteer and help that way.

I love animals and hate to see them not getting any love from happy families. Plus, wouldn’t this little gal or any other little babe like her look great with a fabulous outfit? Not in a Cruella De Vil manner, whoa NO WAY! In a Bvlgari ad with cute animals way. DUH!

Check out all the great pets at:The Central Missouri Humane Society

Ps, in case you're wondering, Top:FOREVER21, Shorts: Cooperative, Shoes: Kimchi Blue (not shown), Necklaces: Urban Outfitters & Vintage (unknown), Cuff: Akira Chicago